Three years ago I was hurt, heartbroken, bitter and angry. I had lost so much in a very short amount of time. That tremendous loss made it very difficult to see the good things that were right in front of me. I shamefully admit that I checked out. I was here, but only going through the motions of living. I did those things I was supposed to do but my heart wasn't really in it.
I don't recall the impetus that inspired me to decide to go back to school but I am ever so thankful it happened. While they were a gruelling two years in which I often felt overwhelmed, the experience restored my confidence and allowed me to once again hope. The future began to not seem so bleak.
I had the strength to "let it go" (yes, that stupid Frozen song is now running through my head making me want to stab myself). I learned others' decisions are theirs to own and any fallout due to those idiotic decisions are theirs to live with. While I may see a better way, I can't stress myself trying to help them. Especially when they are hell-bent on destruction.
Ridding myself of all that emotional baggage has helped me see the blessing right in front of me. I am married to a man who adores me, even when I don't deserve it. While there are time I know he hasn't particularly liked me, he never looked for a way to cut and run. I have three of the most amazing, talented and brilliant children to ever grace the earth who love me and think I'm pretty okay. They're teenagers so landing a solid "okay" in their books is like scoring a perfect 10 in the Olympics. In fact, Mr. Awesome© and the Oompa-Loompas thought so highly of me that they wrote and recorded this little ditty:
This new season of life, while crazy busy thanks to work, kids and marriage, is amazing and I feel like a new person. Am I still stressed, of course, but it doesn't overwhelm me anymore. I know that I have to take care of myself, Mr. Awesome© and the Oompas and let the rest of it go. I am a new me, and she's pretty freakin' awesome if I must say!!