Mrs. Awesome: Thanks for meeting me Subconscious. I'm a little disturbed about the off the freakin' wall dreams of late and wanted to see what's going on with you.
Subconscious: Yeah, whatever. I don't really see the big deal. I still get coffee, right?
Mrs. Awesome: No big deal?!?! Dreaming about being in rehab with Whitney Houston and having GIANT freakin' squirrels use my hands as pacifiers is totally a BIG deal!!
Subconscious: Can't blame me entirely, the rehab part was probably because of your high levels of alcohol consumption...ever think of that??
Mrs. Awesome: I don't drink that much. Only enough to drown out the Oompas' whining.....okay yea, I see your point on that one. They just whine so damn much!!! That still doesn't explain the awful dream where I was doing my bidness on a toilet in the middle of a living room filled with relatives! You gotta admit that's out there.
Subconscious: Hee, hee, hee.....(clears throat), um, I mean that must have been horrible. I got nothing on that one though. Maybe you're really an exhibitionist in hiding??
Mrs. Awesome: Doubtful. Now, about last night's "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride"...the Amish? Really?
Subconscious: Don't dis the Amish. They're wonderfully, simple folk who really know their way around a quilt.
Mrs. Awesome: You are so frustrating!! Get serious!! What are you trying to tell me that can be perceived by dreaming about Amish men submitting bids for my hand in marriage? Why was the one guy trying to speak to me in German? I don't know German, except for a few words I learned by watching the Sound of Music.
Subconscious: Drugs. You must have taken drugs.
Mrs. Awesome: I do not take drugs. At least not the kind you buy in the ghetto from some shady character named Snake.
Subconscious: Yea, cuz' his name is Harry.
Mrs. Awesome: It's Barry and bite me. At least explain why my Dad was seriously considering some of the offers. Selling me off to the highest bidder?!?!
Subconscious: Have you met you? If I was your Dad, I'd do the same. Now gimme my coffee!!