My family's journey down the road less traveled....

Friday, December 30, 2011

Come on 2012!!!

Well, I survived the 2011 Christmas season.  I feel horribly guilty that I didn't enjoy the holiday and the time with family like I wanted.  I just didn't feel it.  I wanted to...really I did.  I watched Christmas movies, listened to Christmas music and replied with a very hearty, "Merry Christmas" to everyone who wished me a, Happy Holidays."  Yet, it never came. 

I even witnessed a Christmas miracle!  My family gathered at my brother and sister-in-law's house on Christmas Eve to be merry and exchange gifts.  For the first time, well, ever, my Dad and Step-dad were there at the same time.  Most of you won't get the significance of this but it's truly a miracle for our family.  There has been some serious animosity going on for the past 31 years!!  On a smaller scale, I was able to spend several hours in the company of my sister and we got along famously!!  No tension, no mumbling under our breath about each other, no drama.  

Santa was good to us as well.  Kids were ecstatic about their gioodies, Mr. Awesome© surprised me with a gift I've been wanting for several years.  Yet the Christmas spirit was elusive.  Maybe it was the warmer weather and lack of snow.  Maybe it was residual stress from a really crappy 2011.  Maybe my chakras were out of alignment!!  Who knows?  All I can say is that I'm looking to out it behind me and embrace 2012 with open arms. 

I'm resisting the urge to make flighty resolutions that I know I won't keep past January 15th.  I know I need to lose weight and eat healthy.  I know I need to get out of debt and reduce clutter in my home.  I look at these as works in progress and have set a deadline of my 65th birthday to have them all checked off my to-do list!!  Don't want to pressure myself.  All I resolve to accomplish this year is to relax and enjoy my life, my family and to try my best to not take for granted what God has blessed me with. 

See ya next year!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

That Old Time Feeling....

Anyone else having trouble finding where they packed their Christmas spirit?  I could have sworn I put it in the box next to the stockings!!  I'm kinda feeling Charlie Brownish over here.  I've lost the true meaning of Christmas somewhere along the way. 

It's been a tense couple of weeks, with not knowing if Mr. Awesome© will work the week between Christmas and New Years.   Our dilemma is that he's only a contract employee which means no benefits and no vacation or holiday pay.  If the plant shuts down, he doesn't get paid and while we have a little in savings the cost of Christmas has eaten into it a little and making that ever important mortgage payment needs to be a priority.  Thankfully, he was told they were going to work at least a couple of days that week. 

I've also been wrestling with our lack of a home church.  Littlest Oompa has been asking every Sunday to go to church and I feel awful that we haven't gone.  The church we love is such a long drive, about 50 miles away.  Neither of our two cars is all that reliable and dumping 100 extra miles on them each week was rough on the cars and our wallets for gas.  I've "shopped around" a few other churches but haven't quite found the right fit.  We are Charismatic Christians and want to find a church with a Holy Spirit invoking praise and worship team, a pastor who teaches and makes you think and a congregation that is open and welcoming.  Throw in an active youth group and I'll be on cloud nine.

I think what this icky feeling really boils down to is that I need to feel connected, in some small way to making the next few weeks a little better for someone...anyone.  I feel this overwhelming need to do something, but I don't know what.  I read a blog post by a woman who made soup and bread to pass out from her car to the homeless.  I've read stories about individuals and groups taking up collections of food to give to families in need.  I guess, I want to find a family who is in the same position we were in last year and give them a glimmer of hope.  Hope.  I know I can't fix what ails them but hope is what got us through last winter and hope is something I can give.

Now I just need to figure out how.....Deborah