My family's journey down the road less traveled....

Saturday, October 03, 2015


So I'm sitting at my kitchen table on this cold, gray autumn day.  It's the morning after the homecoming game and dance in which I sat on freezing metal bleachers in the rain and wind cheering on our football team and watching my daughters and son rock out with the band.  All is quiet and I realize just how far I am from the woman I was 3 years ago.   Change is good my friends!

Three years ago I was hurt, heartbroken, bitter and angry.  I had lost so much in a very short amount of time.  That tremendous loss made it very difficult to see the good things that were right in front of me.  I shamefully admit that I checked out.  I was here,  but only going through the motions of living.  I did those things I was supposed to do but my heart wasn't really in it.  

I don't recall the impetus that inspired me to decide to go back to school but I am ever so thankful it happened.  While they were a gruelling two years in which I often felt overwhelmed, the experience restored my confidence and allowed me to once again hope.  The future began to not seem so bleak.  

I had the strength to "let it go" (yes, that stupid Frozen song is now running through my head making me want to stab myself).  I learned others' decisions are theirs to own and any fallout due to those idiotic decisions are theirs to live with. While I may see a better way, I can't stress myself trying to help them.  Especially when they are hell-bent on destruction.  

Ridding myself of all that emotional baggage has helped me see the blessing right in front of me.  I am married to a man who adores me, even when I don't deserve it.  While there are time I know he hasn't particularly liked me, he never looked for a way to cut and run.  I have three of the most amazing, talented and brilliant children to ever grace the earth who love me and think I'm pretty okay. They're teenagers so landing a solid "okay" in their books is like scoring a perfect 10 in the Olympics.  In fact, Mr. Awesome© and the Oompa-Loompas thought so highly of me that they wrote and recorded this little ditty:

This new season of life, while crazy busy thanks to work, kids and marriage, is amazing and I feel like a new person.  Am I still stressed, of course, but it doesn't overwhelm me anymore.  I know that I have to take care of myself, Mr. Awesome© and the Oompas and let the rest of it go.  I am a new me, and she's pretty freakin' awesome if I must say!!

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