First off, I'd like to that OFG over at Adventures in the Good Land for the oh-so-descriptive title. Her poetic writings inspire me so!! However, she's right folks. Life isn't all sunshine, unicorns and pixies. Life is dirty, sneaky, painful and often times downright SUCKS!! The joyous fun we'd have if there were fairy godmothers with magic wands, ready to wave away our troubles.
It is in no way, shape or form my intention to be a Debbie Downer with this post....only to point out that life doesn't come with a can of Fix-A-Flat. There is no magic pill, special elixir or Genie popping out of a bottle that can fix most of life's woes. They can only be repaired with honest to goodness determination, grit, and a hell of a lot of hard work. I fear people today are unfamiliar with hard work. I'm talking the hard work where sweat stings your eyes, you feel your muscles strain and it takes every ounce of your will to not break or stop.
Of course, sometimes the sweat can be of the metaphoric kind versus the drippy, stinky kind. Not every problem in this great universe is solved through manual labor. A great many conundrums must be solved with brain power.....and given the state of our society , that power appears to be dwindling at a fast pace!!! I digress...
I've been digging deep lately into the far reaching fathoms that are my soul and finally grabbed my boot straps and pulled them up. If I'm being honest it's been a long while since I've even wanted to walk among the living. I was content, not happy mind you, but content in my dark little cave. Not much was asked or expected of me and I was good with that. I was scraping by with just enough gumption and energy to meet the basics of life and parenthood but had nothing in reserve. No extra time spent with the kids, no extra time spent with Mr. Awesome© and absolutely no extra time spent on myself.
It has been a struggle and I've produced a ton of both the metaphorical sweat and the real kind. I've read, prayed, exercised, cried, yelled, contemplated, scrubbed and purged. There have been changes, real changes. Changes that are not temporary band-aids that will fall off in a few weeks, I'm talking lifestyle changes here folks. I've only got one life, one body, one Mr. Awesome©, one moody teenager, one bubbly cheerleader and one exhausting boy. They and I need me present and accounted for, now.
Thankfully, that season of darkness is closing and would you look at that....there is light at the end of this ol' tunnel!! Well, I'll be! It is a slow process but now that the ball is rolling, I'm picking up speed. I have to remind myself that I'm not, nor ever will be Super Woman, and that's okay. As Stuart Smalley once said, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me".
Daily Affirmations with Deborah P.