As a parent, you often times view your child as having no flaws. They seem smarter, prettier, more athletic, more well liked and generally superior to all other children. Feeling and thinking this way can, if left unchecked, cause major problems. Most of us remember the Texas cheerleader's mom who put a hit out on a rival's mother. However, I think most of us have a healthy amount of this denial in our systems. I know I do.
When the time comes and it will, that we need to recognize faults in our children it can be a crushing blow. Bringing up thoughts of, "where did I go wrong", or, "what could I have done differently?". Most times the short answer is that we've done nothing wrong. Our children are who they are and as God designed creatures with free will, they have faults. Some less troubling than others!!
I have come to accept that my oldest, while amazingly talented with music and art is often anti-social. She prefers the company of books and her own thoughts to parties. I'm okay with that, well I will be.....eventually.
I have come to accept that my younger daughter is going to be a cheerleader. I don't mean that she'll be on a cheer squad on the sidelines of a football game(although she probably will). It's more that she'll be a cheerleader for others in her life instead of rooting for herself. She doesn't seem to have any thing she's passionate about so she encourages others. As a person who's done the same her entire life I know the emptiness it can bring. Watching others enjoy and succeed in ventures and activities while you sit on the sideline.
I have come to accept that my son has attention problems. I have come to accept that he is different in every sense of the word. I have come to accept that he needs help that I may not be able to give him.
The last admission is particularly hard to verbalize. I've tried to deny it for a few years now but realize it's only setting him back farther. He learns differently, acts differently and thinks on a whole other plane than I do. Not saying it's either bad or good, just different and unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure what to do with him. I've researched several herbal and natural remedies for ADD/ADHD and will start with those. I am reluctant to bring up these issue with the school for fear of the label following him and generating an IEP. I went through that with my middle daughter for her speech therapy and it's an aggravating process.
We ordered the herbal blend last night and expect it to arrive by early next week. Fingers crossed we see a change. Watching him struggle is breaking my heart. Either way, I love that kid with my whole heart and will sit on my bruised ego over not having perfect kids to see he gets what he needs. After all, I'm not perfect either.